Lesbians: a woman whose primary sexual and romantic attractions are to other women.
Gay: a man whose primary sexual and romantic attraction is to other men.
Gay is also used as an inclusive term encompassing gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people.
Bisexual: men and women who have sexual and romantic attractions to both men and women.
Transsexual: person who identifies with and lives as a gender different from the one typically assigned to their sex at birth.
Transgendered or Trans-identified: a person who identifies with a gender identity other than the one that was ascribed to their biological sex at birth; or a person who views their gender as more fluid than the strictly male or female gender. Transgendered people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.
Two-Spirited: a term adopted by some contemporary North American Aboriginal peoples to refer to those who embody both the male and female spirit. The term is inclusive and can refer to sexual orientation and/or gender identity or expression.
Intersexed: A medical diagnosis that describes a person who is born with physical and/or chromosomal features in which sex characteristics usually considered being distinctly male or female bodies are combined in a single body.
Homophobia is a term used to describe negative attitudes feelings, and beliefs toward GLBT and those perceived to be of these sexual orientations or gender identities. Homophobic thoughts and reactions take many forms and can be subtle or blatant. This can include harassment, prejudicial treatments of, or intolerance toward GLBT persons.
These include:
Heterosexism refers to the assumption held by society that everyone is, or should be, heterosexual. Heterosexuality is seen as superior and preferable to all sexual orientations.
Because of the heterosexist message in most societies, many GLBT teens may question the "normality" of their sexual attraction to, or love for, members of the same gender, an experience that most heterosexual people will never encounter.
Check out the Heterosexism Enquirer
(image borrowed from the Heterosexism Enquirer)
(stats from Laurier University's Positive Space Training)
| GLBT | Heterosexual |
|---|---|
| Low self-esteem contributes to feelings of loneliness, isolation, worthlessness, fear and suicidal thoughts | Lack of accurate, reliable, truthful information perpetuates negative stereotypes and myths |
| Internalized homophobia, hate themselves as they perceive the world hates them | Denial of personal experience that they may know people who are GLBT |
| Often forced to leave home and become street kids (40% of street youth in Vancouver self-identify as GLBT) | Lack of support for same-gender friends and family members |
| Victims of intolerance, harassment, threats and violence | Strict gender role stereotypes; pressure on kids about how to look, dress and behave; no allowance for individuality |
| Drop out of school- 28% of GLBT students do not graduate | Kids perceived to be GLBT are harassed, victimized and beaten often within school |
| Carry out risky behaviour- alcohol and drug abuse, homelessness, unsafe sex, infections with S.T.I.'s and suicidal | 97% of all students have experienced homophobic name calling by grade 8 |
| Completed suicides- 30% of all youth suicides | Fear and hatred is taught by silence on the issue- learned bigotry can lead to gay bashing |
Coming out refers to someone who is GLBT telling someone that they are GLBT. Coming out is an individual choice and is one that only you can make. Many people do not choose to tell anyone of their sexual orientation, while others select to tell certain friends or family members or everyone.
Coming out is not a single event, but instead a lifetime process. To declare to oneself and/or publicly affirm one's sexual or gender identity happens sometimes to one person in conversation or sometimes by an act that places one in the public eye. Each situation is unique and in each situation a GLBT person must decide whether or not to come out.
Unfortunately not everyone is accepting and individual reactions will vary. The most important thing to remember, whether you tell anyone or not is that you are a wonderful person and that there is nothing wrong with being GLBT.
(Chart borrowed from PFLAG)
| DO | DON'T |
|---|---|
| Do listen to what your loved one's life is like, and what kind of experiences he or she has had in the world. | Don't blame your own feelings on your loved one. |
| Do take the time to seek information about the lives of GLBT people from parents of GLBT people, friends of your loved one, literature, and, most of all, directly from your loved one. | Don't rush the process of trying to understand your loved one's sexuality or gender identity. |
| Do get professional help for anyone in the family, including yourself, who becomes severely depressed over your loved one's sexuality or gender identity. | Don't assume that your loved one should see a professional counselor. |
| Do accept that you are responsible for your negative reactions. | Don't criticize your loved one for being different. |
| Do help your child (or loved one) set individual goals, even though these may differ drastically from your own. | Don't expect your child (or loved one) to make up for your own failures in life. |
| Do try to develop trust and openness by allowing your loved one to choose his or her own lifestyle. | Don't try to force your loved one to conform to your ideas of proper sexual behavior. |
| Do be proud of your loved one's capacity for having loving relationships. | Don't blame yourself because your loved one is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. |
| Do look for the injured feelings underneath the anger and respond to them. | Don't demand that your child (or loved one) live up to what your idea of what a man or woman should be. |
| Do defend him or her against discrimination. | Don't discriminate against your loved one. |
| Do respect your loved one's right to find out how to choose the right person to love and how to make relationships last. | Don't try to break up loving relationships. |
| Do say, "I love you." | Don't insist that your morality is the only right one. |
For GLBT, it is natural to have sexual attractions and relations with members of one's own sex. To act on these feelings is natural. Forcing people to hide who they are is unnatural and causes pain. It is the quality of the relationship one is in that is significant, not the gender of one's partner.
There is no evidence to support this myth. A person does not learn to be GLBT, one is GLBT. Most students who are GLBT were raised by heterosexual parents and live in a predominantly heterosexual society. Positive role models are important for all youth. GLBT role models enable GLBT youth to see that they can be productive members of society and so they can realize their potential. Heterosexual youth learn about differences, about being inclusive and helping to prevent discrimination.
Most adults have feelings or attractions or fantasies about both sexes. Alfred Kinsey's studies described sexual feeling and behaviour on a continuum to indicate the fluidity of an individual's sexual identity. He showed that most people move along the continuum at different times of their lives and that only a small part of the population feels they are at either end of the spectrum 100% of the time. Homosexual or heterosexual experiences as an adolescent do not determine a person's sexual orientation later in life.
Most GLBT people feel they did not choose to be GLBT, but they are GLBT. The choice seems to be whether to fully be yourself or suppress your feelings. GLBT people's feelings evolved in them through their childhood or adolescences and their sexual identity became who they are, not who they came to be.
There is much variety in a GLBT life as there is in a heterosexual life. GLBT people can be single, dating, or married. They can have children or live alone. They live in cities, suburbs or the country. They have a variety of occupations. There is no such thing as a distinct homosexual lifestyle. Within all communities, individuals create their own lifestyles.
GLBT people come in as many different shapes, sizes and colours as heterosexual people. Both GLBT and heterosexual people can display stereotypical GLBT mannerisms and characteristics. These include the ideas of a "tomboy" and effeminate male.
It is not known what causes homosexuality or heterosexuality. Some believe they are predetermined genetically and research seems to indicate that sexual orientation is determined either before birth or early on in life. Others maintain that all humans are predisposed to all variations of sexual behaviours. It is not the cause that is important, but that people are treated with dignity and respect regardless of their sexual orientation.
There are no cures because there is no illness. Many GLBT people have had heterosexual relationships or experiences. These experiences have not changed their orientation. Bisexuals continue to be attracted to both genders, although they may have had very satisfying relationships with the opposite gender.
Sexual abuse of children occurs primarily within the family. Over 95% of abuse that is reported has been perpetrated by a male relative. A child is over 100 times more likely to be sexually molested by a heterosexual relative than by a homosexual. Pedophiles are motivated by power and control, not by sexual desire. 90% of all pedophiles self-identify as heterosexual.
GLBT awareness
email: glbtawareness@hotmail.com
A support group for gay, bisexual, lesbian, and transgendered youth between the ages of 13 to 24 in the Brant County area. Meets on a weekly basis. Email to receive more information about the group, as well as meeting times and locations.
Lesbian Gay Bi Youth Line
email: lgbttiqline@icomm.ca
phone: 1-800-268-YOUTH
The Lesbian Gay Bi Youth line is a toll free province-wide support and information phone line for lesbian, gay and bisexual youth up to the age of 26 in Ontario. The youth line provides a safe, supportive, anonymous and confidential place for young people to talk about their concerns.
Contains links to businesses and organizations worldwide
GLAAD- Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
PFLAG - coming out index
A collection of documents dealing with coming out issues